Fifty Ways to Yeet Your Lover

The problem is there are so many ways to choose

Things tend to happen fast, no time to peruse

My not-so-perfect partner is the trash I need to lose

There must be fifty ways to yeet your lover

***

I could kick him off the roof, I could ship him to Dubai,

Make him go home to Momma, no one would ask me why

Flush his “meds,” take the key, feed him awful pie

There must be fifty ways to yeet your lover

Fifty ways to yeet your lover

***

Defenestrate Nate

Take out the mick, Vic

Evacuate the state, Jake

Get yourself a new mate

Kick their butt out the door, Victor

Or with more force out the wall, Paul

Just skip down the lane, Jane

Time to wipe the slate

***

Introduce your new beau, Flo

Get out of the way, Ray

Hop on a plane, Dane

Stay in your lane

Waltz out of the scene, Gene

Throw in the towel, Powell

Sashay past the fight, Dwight

And get outta sight

***

Should I make it any plainer or just get aboard a train

I’m tired of the same old crap that never seems to change

My thirst for violence rises every time he whines my name

I must contemplate my escape

I can get another number, I can delete his name

I should get a friend with bennies, I shouldn’t bear the blame

And find someone who treats me right, and doesn’t play the games

Involving fifty ways to yeet your lover

Fifty ways to yeet your lover

***

Break up at the park, Mark

Run away for a day, Jay

Break off the lease, Gise

The fight’s gotta cease

Take off with your bro, Joe

Don’t care how you swing, King

Dump the poly pod, Rod

Get outta the quad

***

Change your address, Jess

Forward your mail, Gail

Install that app, Cap

Get ‘em outta your hair

Get a new flat, Matt

Find a crash pad, Chad

Use your savoir faire, Claire

And get outta there