Faded Want

She always wanted.

Wanted it to be shorter. No! Longer.

Then she could wear it up.

Braids. Twists. Buns.

Anything but the indecisive tangle of a mop it was when it was worn free.

She always wanted.

Wanted it to be blue or red. Pink was her favorite, but never allowed.

It wasn’t part of the dress code. The work mode.

She always wanted.

Wanted something else; something better.

She couldn’t see the how the strands of gold shimmered in a summer breeze.

Couldn’t see the auburn flame to life in the sun.

No. Her hair was brown. Plain.

“Mousey” even. Or so she’d been told growing up.

Too frizzy. Too curly to be sleek but too flat to be bold.

So she cut, and she colored.

Bought every styling accessory.

Wore it up then down. Straight, curly...

Year after year a new phase, a new craze.

She always wanted.

Wanted something else. Something better.

Damaged strands fell away —

Brown faded to gray.

And when all that color was gone

A lesson finally learned.

She’d always had the hair

She always wanted.