EXULTATION RAINBOW

My Crystal Rainbow Staircase

of projected love intention has evaporated

into reflective drops of dew.

My heart, torn from me a millisecond after imagining a unity of bliss.

I saw us together, walking up as if to an alter, to wed.

I suppose we both forgot rings or had never even written a vow for each other; I forgot about that.

I just stepped up onto this rose-quartz staircase and rode it to the top like it was an escalator, that in fact, it is.

Now I am up here all alone, and I think, "Where is he? Maybe he had to answer a phone call, or his daughter cried out for him.”

Just one real thought or something negative, and I stand on nothing."Do I have my wings? Hell No, I left them below for the manager to do some needless tasks - He laughs; I can hear that, far, far, below.

Desperation settles down my forehead, my chest, and thighs to my ankles and toes. It remains a breath. Time and thought pass by fast, like the earth that I once knew, below me as I imagined us together doing things.

I fall fast through fields of spectral condensation, the beautiful dawn of the heavens pass around me. Light-years fly by in nanoseconds; millenniums roll back through time-space. All matter disintegrated, still I feel.

The cool mist hits my face and encapsulates me in its entirety. I sink further and further, no end in sight, downwards; galaxy's pass by in a profusion of endlessness, blended jewel-like colours of rotating nebulas in harmony, signing out in escalation of promises stolen.

P r o m i s e s

n e v e r

g i v e n.

I fall, I sink; I blend away. I was touched by love once - in my mind.

Now I am here in the vastness of wasted and spread out empty-space of my infinite ego.

So much space here; it's all nothingness, expanded from the excesses of my unleashed creativity looking only for self-worth."Have I ever been worthy? Am I worthy now?

A void opens before me and beyond me and yawns.

I'm not alone; I am with my shadow self.

His face is a replica of mine lit up, side by side - reversed.

We are both here, yet we are alone—me, a reflection of an illusion, him an illusion of a reflection.

I have fallen because he alone can heal me, and he is here because I alone can offer him healing.

We will wait; someone will say something.

"I am sorry."

"Who said that?"

Was it me, or my ancient one?

It doesn't matter; we both bleed in sorrow, for whatever, whenever.

So many mean words said.

So many things created in vain, and destroyed, and created again and again in a bottomless pit attached to sharing for validation.

"Validation? What validation, Whose?

It does not matter now; we are here now, alone.

I have to leave soon; I can no longer take the intensity of such pain. I know a way out, I know several ways out, but does he? I do not know?

I could tell him my secret, but realizing he has so many more secrets of his own, I may be mocked, only trouble there. My hand on my sword;

I lay it down before his altar with trust, love.

My compassion is breaking me fast.

I breathe in my secret - the scent of Rosa Rugosa.

Instantly, the interstellar highway web is lit up.

Before I step onto it, I turn back and look. How the ancient one of mine studies the sword in wonder... he is so beautiful, so innocent - so young and unique. As I exit upon the grid, I wonder, "Does he know of its power? Oh, yes, he does." The void is lit up in a bouquet of nebulas.

Stars sparkle, galaxies spin. He has activated his sword of transformation; he must be holding it - swinging it like a child. As I reach the intersection of multiple dimensions, I detach my wings, "Funny; they were on all this time. Oh, yes...time, it's an illusion. The wings will be his as well; he may need them someday.

Into my portal of crystal reflected light,

I rise, or lower, not sure as I am in a state of disorientation.

But time does pass here, immeasurable amounts of time stream by from outside the rainbow cylinder.

Landed on earth, my feet are firmly planted on the ground, sand between my toes, the sacred sands of my imaginary ocean-side stone orbicular. My secret vortex closes in upon itself and disappears. Tall pines stand in the background. Waves crash, I smell a rush of rosa rugosa, bushes of them growing here, imagined in profusion.

I am blessed; I see above me in the depths of twilight the Aurora Borealis appear and flash green and red, then cerise." My journey to the dark night of my soul is blessed. I have found my healing touch, and we both know it. "Oh, look there! My unicorn, let's go paint something."

- Michael Andrew Shyka

My Playlist for this journey there and back.

A Flock of Seagulls - Space Age Love Song extended version

A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away) (Long Version)

Donna Summer, I feel love maxi long version (last Draco Dj)

Steely Dan ~ Do It Again 1972 Disco Purrfection Version