Even Numbers Always
Poem About Anxiety
Rocking back and forth on my chair
Tap tap tap tapping on my thighs
Even numbers always
Usually groups of two or ten
Odd numbers don't ease the pain
Anxiety's infiltrated me yet again
*
Tap my thumbs on the desk, one at a time
One right, one left,
Two right, two left,
Three left...
Dammit, need to start all over from the top
Hopefully I will calm soon and then stop
*
Tap my big toes on the carpet
Do I count out five on each foot
Or do it one after the other?
Anxious thoughts leave me with this plight
Did I start with the left or the right?
*
Do I want a biscuit? No, thank you
One’s not enough to subdue the strain
That tick tocks inside my frazzled brain
Maybe four, six or even eight
Better yet, get ten on my plate
*
Now that calm is settling in
I can take a rest from tapping
Enjoy the lack of tick-tocking
Until my poor frazzled brain
Is infiltrated by anxiety again
*
Dammit again, if that was the end
I'd be left with five stanzas
That's odd, so I need six stanzas
To help my mind feel complete
And leave me feeling internally replete.
*
Thank you for reading!
Basically inspired, as if that wasn't obvious, by anxiety and some of my coping methods. Always has to be evens.
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About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH7 days ago in Critique
Comments (15)
I'm coming here from your poetry book haha. This is one of my favourites. I am always wishing for more poems about OCD/ OCD related symptoms. My psychologist told me I don't have OCD (yet), just extreme symptoms haha. But I find it soo interesting how they are so similar but so different for different people whether it's actual OCD or just fragments of it/ symptoms. Anyway, whatever it is for you, you represented it soo well here. Also, I find the last stanza funny because, as much as I love the number six, I find intervals of five even more satisfying than even numbers hahah.
How have I missed this too..this was ages ago. I’m a counter as well. I don’t like odd numbers except maybe 7 and 21 lol but I don’t count in twos… I often have count over 100..so start at 101.. 😅 Anyway this was very clever and amusing..I’m really happy you shared it again! Ps this part sent me into mild seizure “One right, one left, Two right, two left, Three left...” ☹️😅
Odd numbers don't ease the pain... I get that so well! What a compelling poem! Hope many people find it helpful for their anxiety, like I did ❣️x
Compelling description of coping behaviors that draws us in and creates a connection.
Love how this poem flowed, so seamless. I've coped with anxiety similarly in the past, very relatable topic! Great job!
Interesting method in coping with anxiety. Learn something new
Omg, I have very bad anxiety and this was super relatable! If it's not even, it at least has to be a multiple of 5, lol! I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Loved your poem!
I felt this. I have a wee bit of ocd (not perfectionism.. although I do suffer from that as well) and I’m familiar with being caught in the tapping spell and the intrusive thoughts that come with them. Definitely not fun. I have to check things multiple times sometimes, especially when I’m stressed.
You didn't mention cronking your teeth!
This poem would be a great companion piece to the winning entry of the $25K challenge winner from last year.
Insightful, nice poem!
Damn, now you got me tapping. jk. Great piece.
Wow, quite a notable insight to coping with anything, I do them all but have never counted, it’s “odd” I haven’t “even” 🤦🏻♀️😂 considered counting,? thanks for sharing, well done 😀
I suffer from anxiety so I get you. It sucks.
Oh I feel for you! I cannot speak to what you go through dealing with anxiety but I can appreciate your need for evens. The only odd number I can tolerate is 5. Well done and thank you for sharing!