Drowning
gone with the current
locked tight within a rip
my eyes and mouth are filled with ocean
i’m unable to get a grip
unsteady within an eddy
i toss and turn with the tide
submerged saline asphyxiation
a thrilling but final ride
the crash of the waves breaks my back
i’m thrown and flung with the weeds
at the tender mercies of this cool seasonal ebb
there are no wants desires or needs
wantonly welded to the will of the tide
the end is close i am sure
to drift forever forgotten flotsam
or to be dashed on some far jagged shore
my head goes under the swell
the surface is so far away
i hold my breathe until inevitably
everything fades and turns grey
my throat and lungs fill with water
you cannot hear my scream
intensive and stronger, drawn out and longer
worse than any dream
About the Creator
Bren
"It's just a token of my extreme!" - Frank Zappa
"Cause it's all in the heat of the moment It's all in the pain!!!" - Devin Townsend
Centre Stage with the wonderful Heather Hubler
I'm writing it out not acting in doubt!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Center Stage with Gina C.
*** I'm keen to republish the interviews I did for my series with Vocal creators. It's been a few years and I thought it might be nice to revisit these wonderful conversations. I'll be releasing them one at a time for a few weeks/months.
By Heather Hubler3 days ago in Interview
Comments (10)
I like your flow and imagery. Thanks for your creativity.
Fantastic piece.
Wow, this is so well written. I especially loved the ending
I was hooked before I started reading it and you did not disappoint. Amazing piece!
I love this-- "there are no wants desires or needs,,," --forever free.
My every day. The sweet saline sublimity of surrender to the inevitable. One editorial note: Last line, did you want "then" (sequential) rather than "than" (comparative)?
Brenton - terrific rhythm and rhyme throughout!! 😊
Goddamn, this is so good. You build up to the final few lines in a way that provokes a deep seated surprise in me. I don’t know how that works every time I read one of your poems, but that is what happens. And I will continue to read them. Fantastic.
You beautifully expressed my fear of waves. And not breathing in general. Kind of a funny fear for a sailor.
I often feel that way. Life can be worse than any dream, even any nightmare. You expressed it so well 👏