Dreams Again

Last night she visited me again within the stratosphere of my dreams,

while my earthly mind is stuck in limbo, petrified of the reality of choosing the wrong outcome but believing that now is the time to take a chance

Dreamt of her being near me, close to me than ever before, after we met

For the instance after our paths crossed thanks to a couple of colleagues

Setting steps into motion that I could never do just because of my social anxiety braking almost every step of the way if I tried

It worked though, before our formal introductions

and our anticipated crossover,

I caught her strolling past my station a couple dozen times

knowing she’s curious about her secret admirer…

Began to become more terrified and stuck in my own head like a broken record player

repeating the same bastardized song that doesn’t help whatsoever

Wondering if she’s going to be satisfied with what she sees

relying on the goodness of god to make me appear as though I’m charming and charismatic when in reality I’m deathly afraid on the inside

Something I’ve kept away from her thus far.

Something she must never know no matter what.

Perhaps I’m too stuck in my own head and that’s the problem,

Always said I’m an acquired taste, something different and might not be everyone’s flavor of coffee, but it really doesn’t matter at the end of the day

I never claimed to be bad, just “off color”

There’s a market for me out there somewhere, it’s one of the truths covered in a blanket of blind faith that helps me quickly go to sleep at night

In this world, she wasn’t disappointed with what she got by the slightest

If anything, she kept wanting to indulge further what what she has in front of her every chance she got she kept looking for me

even in moments where I was too occupied with my own existential crisis to pursue she never let the thought of me fade to the back of her mind

Abigail kept looking for me even when I had my off days, but they always got better after seeing her no matter how long or short the time was.

Abigail showed interest in ways no other woman has in such a long time before this, she kept texting me and asking me if I was doing okay

I always showed her the same effort in return because I’ve always wanted a woman who’d show interest in return,

making the pursuit for her attention all the more

worth while, that drive is in me but for the right one only

In modern times, most people just like playing games while I don’t have any amount of tolerable patience to deal with the nonsense

Out of everyone in this world, Abigail doesn’t want to go through

that phase as our passionate kiss bound us to one another

for a promising future.