Dont Seek

I want to jump ship
And disappear like a phantom.
Just nothingness.
Floating in the darkness
and drinking emptiness.
I don't even want to open my eyes.
The sounds of the end screaming in my ears.
Half the time, I don't know what is real.
Great silver horses of gloom chase me again.
And again.
Terrified of night,
I find safety in the glow
Of a cigarette.
Hushed breath I sigh
Hoping the wondering dark apparitions won't hear.
Creeping in and out of the shadows,
I hear them call my name.
Calling for me to follow.
I squeeze my eyes shut
And whisper for the sun to rise.
They watch over me,
Only to catch me off guard
While I search for sleep.
I am half a soul.
I am half a person.
Don't seek,
You will never find.