Don't Come Back, Ever Again

Dear Santa,

You fat bastard, you

Don't try to deny it, we both know it's true

You slimy greaseball, no good fool

Dirty rotten scoundrel, you bucket of drool

I know what you did, I'm utterly livid as I relive

The sight of your mass, your naked white ass

I did not understand, how it could be

But once I was blind, and now I can see

I've wrote Mrs. Clauss, how about a round of applause?

Because of my testimony,

You'll be out on the streets,

And that is exactly where you should be

I hope the North Pole is cold, colder than ice

This year I will be naughty, no nice

Santa, it's over, you and I are done

And I won't tell you again, STAY AWAY FROM MY MUM!