Dog

Dog’s lying next to me

Legs up in the air,

Doesn’t seem to give a shit

Spread-eagled on the chair.

I politely try to move him

Say that I’m trying to write,

But he’s a mercurial little shit

Who jumps at a chance to fight.

I take him for long walks

Shower him with affection,

I even pick up his faecal matter

And his response – insurrection.

With a wandering eye

And a canine grin,

I can tell what he’s thinking,

He’s thinking ‘Fuck him!’

This is his yard

He plays by his rules,

He barks when he’s bored

And if he cries, he gets food.

I could be a little runt like that

And play him at his own game,

But I don’t lick my dick in public –

I still have some shame.