divinity and hell fire

not catholic enough for one,

not atheist enough for the other,

I am caught in a tug-of-war

between divinity and hell fire

and neither one wants me

because I’m playing both sides

like a betrayer to the truth,

a fucking tightrope walker,

swaying dangerously close

to the point of no return.

to any bystander with accusing eyes

it may seem like I enjoy the game

but do not be mistaken –

I am being torn apart,

limb from limb, bloodied and

begging for mercy from either side.

I am gambling with my soul

and it’s the only thing

I can’t afford to lose

but how can I sacrifice my happiness

to save something so fragile?