Dissonance

Do you remember the roads that we trod?

All the twists and the turns

Rain and sunburns

The... the... the…. Tunnel that blacked everything out….

…That tunnel…. Why?

Why does it have to…. Couldn’t it be me?

It’s dark… You were my light, my rock…

A sunstone? It’s still fitting

Without you… Even now it’s a labyrinth

Lost in thought, chased by the past…. The memories don’t stop.

It’s bad, it’s sad, it’s happy, there’s tears, there’s fear….

What is it like to feel? I forget… It hurts…

This hollow in my heart it aches, but I can’t think of why

I remember and yet I can’t recall the details. The tears that line my pillow

The hugs and the warmth, the amnesia and the pain….

I love you… You stole my love, my light and my mind.

Do I know you? Did you recall me when you closed your eyes…

Did my heart break even though it wasn’t whole to start…

Did things start at the end… I don’t know anymore…

I’m lost, I want to cry out, but don’t want to trouble anyone with my voice.

Can I ask for help? Would it make me weak? Did you think I was doing well?

What does tomorrow without you look like…?

I hear the sound of a piercing buzz, it brings the same tears and thoughts…

That same metallic ring was there when the door closed at the facility…

How haunting… I’m cold, maybe I’m becoming coldblooded…

Who knows… I want to rest… But when I close my eyes the darkness hurts…

The faces, the ghouls, the shadows they press in, my guilt is heavy.

Survivor’s guilt is suffocating, for an asthmatic panic attacks are sewn in discord.

I can’t breathe, I don’t want to cry anymore. Can anyone hear me? Help….

Maybe… I should walk away… Where would I go?

Nothing adds up… Math was never a strong point once the ‘grand adventure ended’

I miss school where structure was basic… Where being a sheep was fine…

Now I’m on a new road… And I’m scared to walk down it…

Our grafted, damaged little tree... We've three branches left... And one is wearing with time.... How I loathe when that branch falls away... The leaves are changing again and memories run away...

Tears continue to warm my eyes... Will it be sooner than I wish... Will I stand alone... Staring at these road signs?

Perhaps a blanket and a book will be all that remains with me as I linger by this sign... Its cold...