am I getting too old
to be the thing I want to be
am I taking too long
to prove I’ve got what it takes
at what point do you stop and say,
well there you go, that’s just how
it’s gonna be…
do I pack it in
and call it a fucking day?
or do I die walking,
die trying,
meet the grave
with a sort of grandeur
stamped into the grooves
of my frozen face
you tell me…
what difference does it make
if I’m thirty-eight
and find myself unsure
about what to say
when I’m asked
what I do at a party
or some other bullshit
social event…
what difference does it make,
if you don’t see it,
don’t get it, don’t recognize
the value in a leap of faith
even full-grown men
have the right
to shoot for the stars
that’s not merely a children’s game
I will not discourage you,
so don’t look at me like that,
like you think it’s too damn late…
dreaming isn’t for the young,
it’s for everyone—
don’t tell me yearning
is for those who don’t know any better,
because you’re wrong!
you don’t need to be born after
2002 to be under the impression
that this world can ever get any better
than this counterfeit stage we’ve turned
it into — any life can change
at any time!
the best years
don’t always have to be seen
from behind…
so do me a favor, and just look away
move your haughty gaze
to another direction
because I don’t care what you think…
I like being this way
I like seeing the grey
it’s a beautiful thing
to cruise into maturity,
into the abyss of uncertainty
with the outlook of a fresh soul…
so I don’t know about you
but I’ll die trying,
I’ll die walking
“All great artists are amateurs at heart. Nothing wrong with that at all. You start out as an amateur, work to becoming a pro, then become an amateur all over again.”
— Osamu Dazai, The Flowers of Buffoonery
Roberto Canessa: “We’re gonna die, you know.”
Nando Parrado: “Maybe. But if we die, we’re gonna die walking.”
—Alive (1993)
Notes:
The message here is pretty simple. Don’t give up on your aspirations. If you love it. Don’t stop. No matter what anyone else thinks or says. If you have a goal, if you want to achieve something, it doesn’t matter how long it takes.
You’re never too old and it’s never too late. At least not until you’re in the ground. And if you’re a writer, even then you can still have your words make an impact long after you’ve left this world.
My favorite part of this poem is the line, “dreaming isn’t for the young—it’s for everyone.” Even if you aren’t accepted. Maybe you’re doing something other people don’t understand. You never know when the game will change. You never know when the years of hard work will confront the perfect opportunity.
So until then, you keep walking. You keep writing. You keep sending out those applications. You keep breathing and believing in yourself. And you keep telling the naysayers to go fuck themselves.
It’s okay if you can’t see the path forward. Towards the end of the poem I say, “I like being this way, I like seeing the grey.” You’ll be confronted with uncertainty. And just because you’ve reached maturity as an adult, it does not mean you can’t find a way to be comfortable living in the grey. No one can predict the future. So don’t stop or reject yourself for arbitrary reasons. Push forward despite ambiguity.
To touch on the quotes that I published alongside this piece. The first is from the Flowers of Buffoonery by Osamu Dazai, and it nicely captures the idea that all professionals were once amateurs. Dazai then takes it another step by saying that the best professionals know that they are still amateurs.
And finally, the quote that inspired part of the title. It’s from one of the most remarkable stories of survival and heroism. It’s the concluding dialogue from the end of the movie Alive, where two of the survivors of the Uruguayan Flight 571 plane crash, who were stranded in the Andes mountains for 72 days, were on the verge of giving up. And just as they were nearing collapse, they made the decision to keep fighting. That if they were going to die, they were going to die walking.
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About the Creator
Smart phones, Humans and Aliens.
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