Once, it brought us to life
You lauded this renovation
Hailed it
“Our greatest accomplishment.”
“Our True North”
Then we got the news
How long ago was that now?
A week?
A year?
A decade?
Now,
Spiderwebs dangle from the rafters above
While dirt buries the wood floor below
The mold–this sickness
Consumes more and more,
Day by day
Cell by cell
Just like…
No.
I can’t dwell here anymore
If I do
My compass spins
North to south
South to north
Out of control
I turn toward the door
There’s nothing left here
Except for the memory of you
I know I should go, yet
I can’t ever leave
This derelict home
My mind–
And heart’s
Become
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N:
Written for Poppy's Prompts #3. Info below:
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About the Creator
Matthew J. Fromm
Full-time nerd, history enthusiast, and proprietor of arcane knowledge.
Here there be dragons, knights, castles, and quests (plus the occasional dose of absurdity).
I can be reached at [email protected]
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Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH6 days ago in Critique
Comments (10)
Well deserved Runner Up placing in Poppy’s March Prompts! ✅
Congrats on runner up. I have to second Oneg’s comment. The pacing was perfect.
Absolutely captivating! The emotion and imagery in this is perfect! Too many favourite lines to point them out!
Ohh I loved the ending especially… This was a really unexpected surprise! I like that you kept the metaphor hidden until this reveal….
This one was a tearjerker for me. Great work!
Really love the pacing in this, and how it sped up but then the end really slowed with that intense effect
Beautifully written… I always feel sad seeing derelict homes etc.
You caught me up with "once" and I couldn't stop reading. As Hannah said, excellent. I was particularly moved by the final four lines. "This derelict home My mind– And heart’s Become" Almost like the speaker wants to return, doesn't want this to be the end. Yet, it is. How tragic, indeed.
This is excellent, that arresting of dreams.
This is full of melancholy pathos; deftly done!