Depression Is A Coward

Depression always overstays its welcome.

It puts on a melodramatic performance every time it comes,

Nonchalantly ruins the restoration of my faith every time it leaves,

It’s a tornado that rips apart

the very foundations of my biology,

Muscles atrophy,

Dance for me dance for me,

It sings,

Until my legs give out,

As a puppet on the string,

The marionette in the hands of a masochist.

If I could wish it away I would

And if I could will it away I wish

But life doesn't work like that,

Wishing on stars make them nervous

Gives them a job they cant fulfill without action

And all too often our wish ends in tear drops

As our angels eavesdrop to our thoughts to take depression to the pawn shop,

For something to cause so much damage,

It must be worth millions, right?

Depression is a mosquito that feeds on energy instead of blood

and with every bite you seem to dwindle,

drift, wander further from feeling human,

closer to feeling like a meal

and some days you want to be one

to the insects that dance on graves.

Some days I wait for my thoughts to render

Export them into pretty gifs

Splay them out for you to see

And hope that it gets replayed more than once

Because the first time you hear truth you nod

The second time you hear it your cry

And the third time you hear it you feel its vengeful presence telling you to wake up

Telling you, you’re not alone in these storms that feel endless,

These storms harmoniously chanting with evil forces,

You are not a discount for the hands of cheapskates,

your worth is not determined by how wanted you think you are,

Depression met you on a cloudy day because you are the sun and you were just hiding,

And it’s okay that it found you,

but let it release you,

come out and shine again and scare it away.

Depression is a little bitch that cowers at the thought of power,

is fearful of treatment plans and meditation and medication

and treating yourself like the celestial being that you are.

Depression is a coward,

So when you finally decide to break up with it,

It’ll say that you were the toxic one,

Even though it was more poison than you could ever be

Even though its parasitic existence kept you from wanting to breath,

Because depression only has power when you forget yours.