‘Dear World....’

Dear World,
I felt like a failure as always. I don't know if my goals, relationships, ideas, values, dreams, paths, and hopes are planning or working out as I thought.

I have always been through mostly in my life--- shame, stigmatization, betrayed, ghosted, divided, excluded, silenced, rejected, separated, and lost.

It will never gonna go away at all!

It will always be happening again and again...and again..and again... And again....and again!

I know it's always been messy and overwhelming every day and night.
I'm not sure if this society ever fits me well since birth. My youth was quite odd and divided. My teens were darker. My twenties seemed overwhelming, but my thirties were both worse than I thought.

I don't even remember when was the last time I was happy -- since my mother’s womb or before I was a toddler--or even both.

I have been growing up as a broken but tragic creature.
I don't ever see myself as a human being like anyone else.

I kept believing in it that I am cursed by every human being- the closer I get, the more consequences will be. I'm nothing but an alien.

I think society is always right.

My thoughts are always right.

I will always get the traumatic moments with the good times every day, every month, and every year...

I have to be honest--life is always too pointless.

I also don't see the future that I've been looking for and the kind of future I want.

Right now, everything has been too much for me since 2020.

I will be going now... Don't worry about me...

I'm not important...

Goodbye..