Dear Old Me

I went on the hunt alone again.

Not through forests,

But into the depths of the unknown,

Where shadow work waits,

And I’m left feeling exposed.

Naked, alone,

Afraid to roam the unkept terrain of my mind.

Following the breadcrumbs of my unhealed wounds,

Digging up old ambitions and long-lost dreams.

Each footprint leading me closer

To the ghosts of who I used to be—

Scared because the footsteps stop at tombstones

Of every buried version of me.

"What’s this? A letter titled, Dear Old Me"

It reads,

"Where did you go?

The one who believed.

You laughed from your belly until it hurt and smiled for no reason on days when everything hurt.

You were the one who wasn’t weak in the knees.

You were confident and strong,

Not just doom strolling to “fulfill your needs”."

I folded the letter and placed it in my pocket,

a gentle reminder, its echo humming inside me—

Then came the flicker of all the ‘What ifs’

Bursting through the darkness.

Each one trying to distract me,

As if I were at the edge of knowing.

Recalling my true purpose for this hunt—

The unbroken version of me.

And when I looked ahead

I caught a glimpse of it,

Not a moment of triumph

But the truth laid before me:

A rare opportunity

To take another step toward myself.

To go forth on this journey of healing

Guided by the old footsteps of who I used to be—

A placeholder whispering,

“You can start here.”

And so I did—

Without a trophy, just a promise

That I wouldn’t stay here,

In the dark with my unhealed ghosts and worn-out selves

Just one foot in front of the other

In a rhythm of consistency

Striving to become a better version of me.