Dear Future Lover

Dear future lover,

Odds are, you’re going to be written about. Everyone before you has been, and if there are any, anyone after you will be.

But if I want you in my life,

There are some things you should know:

I’m amazing at air hockey, but the worst sore loser you’ll ever meet. But, I don’t want your pity. I want to win it fair and square.

I’m known for spontaneously traveling at a moment’s notice. Don’t be surprised if I send you a plane ticket.

I steal socks, especially ones with cool designs on them.

Sometimes I get scared when I walk down my block over a certain piece of concrete because it reminds me of someone I’m trying to forget. Be patient with me, I’m proud I don’t get scared every day now. Some days are worse than others.

I’m a fantastic passenger on long road trips. You’ll never find anyone better.

Make sure I don’t come home with 50 dogs from a dog shelter by myself.

And I want you to know:

If I choose to love you,

I want you to hold me,

Really hold me,

But not hold me because you’re afraid I’m going to let go.

If I choose to love you,

I’ll tell you every chance I feel it.

Because I want to celebrate the things I feel.

Just as we say we’re tired, we’re angry, we’re hungry.

I want to tell you how much you mean to me.

If I choose to let you in,

I don’t want you to see my past as my problems,

I don’t want you to see those problems as fixable,

And I don’t want you to get your toolkit, blueprints, and start patching the holes, and painting over the bright colors that I dawn as my war paint now.

And if you’re out there,

I hope you’re kind.

I hope you are patient.

And I hope you see me as I am,

Just as much as I hope I see who you are too.