Dear Felix,

you;

you were the one

who owned my entire heart.

it was supposed to be

me and you

against the world;

we were supposed to be

two peas in a pod.

you were supposed to be

the peanut butter to my jelly.

you were there for it all,

felix.

you.

nobody else.

you.

it was all you.

just you.

you helped get me

through so much bullshit,

in just that short little life

you lived.

I honestly have no idea

what I would've done

without you,

felix.

named after that one

youtuber

who constantly was able to

put a smile across my face,

you truly did live up to your

name.

you truly knew how to

put a smile across my face;

you truly did know

the exact way

to my heart.

I thank you for that.

I do.

you showed me how to

have a good time,

even when I didn't feel

like having one..

even if you were

just a cat.

**

I think that was what made

your death

so much harder for me

to handle.

our bond..

our closeness..

we've only known each other

for a year,

but god was that the worst heartbreak

I had ever felt.

losing you

was something I never could've

thought would have happened;

not now,

not ever.

we barely had enough time

to be together.

we barely had enough adventures

to share together.

it wasn't your time.

it wasn't your day.

it couldn't be.

we had so much left

to do,

together.

you and I;

we were meant to be

forever.

**

now,

as I hold her in my arms,

I see it.

I do.

she's you.

she's all you;

the way she purrs

when she gets jealous,

the way she snuggles up

into my face

whenever she wants pets,

the twinkle she gets in

her eye,

the tiny, boopable little black nose,

she's you.

she's the perfect embodiment

of everything you would've been.

I see it,

now.

I understand,

felix.

I understand,

and I thank you.

she's perfect for me,

felix.

she'll never come close to

that hole you once filled,

but she's perfect.

thank you.

❀✿❀✿