Dazed and Confused

Looking down and shocked, like the face that I see.

I’m staring at a picture I know that it’s me.

Could I be seven no maybe I’m ten.

There with other people, standing around,

I don’t know who they are, but then we were friends.

I don’t know where I am, or what we did.

I don’t recognize the walls, furniture, or lighting.

I don’t remember these clothes; are they mine or did someone else provide them?

Why do I look like this, I know my hair was stick straight but what I see here is curly.

I pick it up to look closer, there is another then another,

I drop the stack I’m overloading.

This makes my head hurt I feel a sudden haze.

I’ll put some music on and see what replays

Besides having little memories of my early life, I have always fought with recognizing myself in the mirror. I look at the mirror every day, so I know what I look like, and to make sure I look ok. As well as memorizing pictures, the locations they were taken, when, etc… but I hate and avoid looking at myself in the mirror or pictures. This is also why I am taken aback by other people’s pictures of me. I haven’t had the opportunity to memorize them. Many times I can’t identify the location, I can’t tell how old I am, and I panic.