Da:ns

Are you afraid? I whisper

turning a pirouette on your table

You look at me like I'm incapable

or worse - embarrassing

*

Why do you dance?

they ask

as we sit on the floor

legs jutting and folded at

impossible angles:

a half-hour clock face embrace

between my thighs

*

I tap my pencil to my chin

look in

But there's nothing here

save for the sneer on your

judgemental lips

*

Why do I dance? I write

Because I must

*

Use it to drive you, they say

as we sway, in unison

in canon

a call and response

an echo

Duos, trios: they're all the same:

we'll always be dancing solo

when the music fades

*

You're a grown woman

you smirk

when I work up the nerve to

ask if you'll come

How embarrassing,

you mutter

*

It cuts, but on it must go

the show we've sweated

bled and cried for

*

In ten years time

I won't remember a single name

But the hands that lifted

twisted, entwined in mine

will be etched into the grooves of my fascia

a palmist's palate

intersected with a stave

that gave rhythm

to our longings

*

You see nothing

but know it all

and your eyes are begging

to fall with me

To collapse

with perfunctory

vibratory

clarity

To watch me fail

so you can pick me up

*

But it's not your face I see

in the illuminated motes

twisting, racing under the

unforgiving spots

Not the strangers

in stages

faces half bored

half expectant

arms folded like

recalcitrant youth

*

I see none of these visages

*

Just me

Frowning in askance

waiting for an answer:

Why do you dance?

*

For her, I tear open my chest

divest everything on a jeté

and a prayer

fouetté with religious fervor

curve, reach and rise

*

Are you afraid? I whisper

when the lights have faded

-after the movements have been repeated

fragmented, retrograded-

that in this avenue away from you

I might

just maybe -

be quite good?