Curious About How People I Once Knew Grew Up

Questionable interactions happening

both in the brain and in conversations.

I’m wondering about two students I

knew from high school who got married

and had five children. She was a gothic

girl. She dyed her hair different colors.

We played volleyball together. I

remember her not doing well

in my pre-AP literature class. Her

husband was a really nerdy guy

in high school. He annoyed me, and I

feel bad, but I think I was kind of mean

to him. He was in my social circle.

He liked my friend who was (still is)

a lesbian.

She would make little items out of

gum wrappers, and he kept all of them

for years. He had a dining set

of gum wrappers she crafted.

He kept the pieces at home,

a gum wrapper shrine to her.

He was in choir, music

history, music theory, AP government,

AP statistics, and so many other

classes with me. I remember him

dating a short girl with mousy brown

hair. They had high school PDA

written all over them. He was

conservative. His wife, I can’t imagine

her as a conservative but I didn’t

know her as well. . . Maybe she is

conservative. She was kind of a

punk. Way more edgy. He was

kind of strange and nerdy. I don’t

know why I didn’t get along with him

when we had similar interests

and friends. He was tolerable, and I

likely had undiagnosed anxiety

as a high school student, so I

probably over-fixated on certain

things. I’m not even sure what I

would say sorry for if I

had the chance. Like I’m sorry for

being generally annoyed with you

15 years ago? That would be worse

than keeping the silence. Perhaps

I’m not actually sorry about anything;

I'm just uncomfortable thinking about

these things and revisiting awkward

adolescent moments. There is a lot

I’m annoyed with in how I portrayed

myself as a teen. I made way too

big a deal out of my grades,

schedule, friendships, and everything.

I was dramatic but as an introvert.

I was a social butterfly while

introverted: translation I was

very aloof. I was the epitome

of an Aquarius. And I still

deliriously am.

***

Back to that couple, in their family

pictures, it looks like the kids take

more after their mom. They’re actually

cute, but I can’t stop thinking about

how the heck do you raise 5 different

kids and how do you do it if

you and your partner

have completely different

political views? Could I

please be a fly

on a wall in their house, so I

could learn more? But also please,

no, I don’t want that wish to come

true. I’d rather win the lottery.