Creative Roadblocks

“Writer’s block is only a failure of the ego.” — Norman Mailer

***

An obnoxious consumption stabs its bony fingers into my throat. As I struggle to breathe, its painful penetration bores deeper and harder; no sound can escape its spiteful hate.

Every creative thought that was once nestled secretly within my mind capsizes, breaks down and silently drowns. Lost—I can't source the treasured words that once were; now washed up on the rocky shores of thinking. Obliterated, they evaporate into an unfound space of esoteric dimensions.

My mind surrenders to a cosmic gulf of lack. Not frozen, not vague. Just locked out. Never having experienced nullity, I am aghast at this poetic writer's block of poison that tortuously robbed me of my imagination.

I kick out: “You seized me hard traitor", but I find pleasure in the spiritual stillness that sits amid the silence. I succumb to the vacantness in my creativity — the vagueness and vastness of emptiness numbs me out like some fine herb. I welcome in the orgasm of nothingness.

Too many uncomfortable changes smothered my life, and even though I wanted to write my next piece , weeks passed, and I drifted through a foreign universe.

The universe of change. A paradigm waiting to accept me. A dimension in which I have been ready to set foot, but I didn’t know that, not until today. No, not until the fog lifted, and I saw a new way through.

I was holding on to my old life, to the old me, yet I didn’t know that either — you can’t see growth, it's as slow as how our Earth moves each day — unseen.

I just felt like I was stuck, but I found the answer;  it wasn’t being stuck in not understanding what my next step was, but being stuck in not letting go. I look at those words, “ Let Go”, but let go of what?

Let go of trying too hard.

Let go of wanting more than you can chew.

Let go of wanting to be anything.

Let go of wanting to be something.

Let go of adopting a modern-day identity.

Let go of modern-day fame.

Let go of what everyone else is doing.

But....

If I let go, then where do I go?

...

Don’t ask, just let go; let go and write.

© Chantal Weiss 2025. All Rights Reserved