Cousin No More

Were you my cousin?

Oh sure.

Although, in reality, I’d always thought we were so much more.

You were like the sister I’d always wanted

While I was merely the pebble in your shoe.

The one you always felt compelled to outdo, one up, and outshine.

Your jealousy made you more toxic and treacherous than I had ever realized.

Was your victory all that you surmised?

.

Through the years, I defended you,

Had your back more times than I can count.

Yet where were you throughout the years?

You could never squeeze time out of your busy schedule.

Yet I was always expected to drop everything at a moment’s notice to cover for you.

My fault for ever doing so,

For believing that you were deserving of my time,

Loyalty or trust.

.

If I could go back, I would’ve seen you for who and what you truly are

When you showed me the first time.

When you hurt me for the first time.

I would never have allowed myself to be swallowed up into the meaningless, soul-sucking void that is your family.

I wouldn’t have forfeited my dreams in lieu of making your mother’s come true.

I would’ve turned my back.

Avoided your years of drama,

Pursued my own dreams

Not allowing them to be hijacked by a woman who claimed to have my best interests at heart.

.

No, I would have stood my ground from the very start.

Done what was right for me and mine

Instead of you and yours.

The irony?

Is that I could’ve destroyed it all in the blink of an eye

With one fell swoop, you all would’ve crumbled.

Yet I never even considered it.

.

Instead, I came to you.

Hugged you while you cried,

While you claimed ignorance.

I never betrayed you or yours.

Who would’ve thought that lack of betrayal would eventually become one of my life’s biggest regrets?

Now, you’re my cousin no more.

I’ll show you the door.

You’re not welcome here anymore.

The mere sight of you is something I deplore.

. . .

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This poem was originally published on Medium: