Coup de Tarte

So the day began

As any other

Pots they clanged

And desserts they cluttered

But the Pieman knew

And the Caker did too

That things would soon change

Merging paste with the goo

Each had a plan

And a new approach

But the Pieman *

Came soon to know

He had a problem

That the Caker didn't

How could he get cakes

To want what was missing

From pies to cakes

It's about the shell

But cakes to pies

Is about the fill

With that in mind

He began to scheme

How he could sell

His own cake-pie dream

[Mestuffstoplease]

I've learned from Cream Cake

That cakes are wary

They see pies as victims

And the Pieman as scary

So what I must do

Is change how they think

Of the paste that they fashion

To what's buried beneath...

I'll have to be cautious

For not all have the same tastes

From Key Lime to Chocolate

They have different needs

I'll see what they see

Before I make my approach

I'll listen real closely

To see what they know

[Exit Mestuffstoplease]

So off he went

With his new mindset

He walked the aisles

And paid close attention

He first passed a window

With a formidable treat

But Baked Alaska's too dense

To ever accept his jelly

A little further down

He found a cake so replete

Ornately placed bananas

With cookie wafers too neat

It was the Banana Cream Cake

One of Caker's elite

It's said that he's nutty

And prone to conspiracy

He gave it a minute

Then decided to pass

But he might need to revisit

If at least just to laugh

A little further down

He came to one that he liked

It was the one known as the Carrot

A true baker's delight

But he slowly thought about it

And though the Carrot wins on merit

To jelly a beloved cake

Could leave one and all embarrassed

He thought about Cream Cake

And about the TV

Perhaps he still wants one plain

But without the dreaming

Soon he passed the Chocolates

And they always looked yum

But their location is crowded

And their tastes exorbitant

He decided to move on

For it would be a hard sell

Much like the Cream Cake

They have visions to fill

But a little further still

He found one that he liked

Pao-de-Lo de Ovar

But it's just too plain to delight

Then he came to Red Velvet

And he thought about the next

For what can you give a cake

That's better than the rest

A thought then occurred

And he stopped in his tracks

He slyly posted up

To hear the things that they said

They talked about their cream

And how long it would last

How boring are their dreams

For they want what they have

And they talked about the Caker

And his supposed beliefs

Though they think they're just rumors

They say he thinks all are unique

Then they talked about the commons

The ones stacked in the back

And how'd they always be haters

For the things that they lacked

He now had an opening

For he saw the right play

Enter Mestuffstoplease

To come save the cakes

[Mestuffstoplease]

I'm sorry to intrude

But I've heard of your trouble

Perhaps I could shed some light

That you don't get in your bubble

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

We've seen your kind

You usually come and we go

Say what you want

And be on with your show

[Mestuffstoplease]

You mistake me

I'm not a taker nor caker *

But I'm known to fulfill cake dreams *

You could say I'm your savior

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

What we want you can't give us

For it doesn't exist

We have cream in abundance

And our taste's exquisite

[Mestuffstoplease]

All that is true

And that's the story cakes tell

They also say cakes that have it all

Usually end up in cake Hell

[Red Velvet Cake 2]

We've heard all the rumors

We know how they hate

But there's nothing we can do

So we just sit and wait

[Mestuffstoplease]

But that's not just a folktale

You know they are right

True goodness happens inside

It doesn't happen in sight

[Red Velvet Cake 3]

What could you do for me *

As the fulfiller of wishes *

We have everything we need *

And we are already delicious *

[Mestuffstoplease]

I'll let you in on a secret

Something you can trust

I have this substance called jelly

It perks you right up...

It will change how you feel

It will imbue you with love

Other cakes will want to see

And to know what you've done

You will feel it in your seams

And want to give out free hugs

And no one will focus on your cream

Just the love from above

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

All that sounds amazing

But there's a problem at hand

For will we have enough

When they want what we have

[Mestuffstoplease]

It's not something for grabbing

It just comes from me *

You just tell them how to have it

When they want what could be *

Just tell them what you have

But don't be specific

And tell them how to pray*

It should go something like this:

Our maker

Who arts our breading

Who knows our paste

Please bring the jelly

With all due haste

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

They'll think that we're lying

They'll become suspicious

Rumors will fester

And become contagious

[Mestuffstoplease]

Let them think that you're lying

Leave that up to me

For I know where they're hiding

I'll give to them as they please

I'll weave my path

Throughout this place

And listen to them ask

for my jelly's sweet taste

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

So what do you want

For this magic jelly you have

All we have is what you see

There's not much you can grab

[Mestuffstoplease]

I give it for free

For I'm kind of your father

Just do as you please

And enjoy what I offer...

Just remember the words

And repeat after me

But say it like you mean it

If you want my jelly...

Our maker

Who arts our breading

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

Our maker

Who arts our breading

[Mestuffstoplease]

Who knows our paste

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

Who knows our paste

[Mestuffstoplease]

Please bring the jelly

With all due haste...

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

Please bring the jelly

With all due haste

[Mestuffstoplease shoves piping bag in the Red velvets and jellies with abandon]

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

Ouch

Why does it hurt so much

[Mestuffstoplease]

It's just growing pains

Good fathers believe in tough love

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

Now I feel slightly awkward

I don't know what to do

Or what's worth the bother

What seemed false now seems true

[Mestuffstoplease]

You'll soon feel a zest for life

Once the jelly absorbs your paste

Don't forget my wise advice

And remember to tell the cakes...

But I have to be off

There are duty's that remain

But if do you see me above

Don't be afraid to say hey

[Before they replied Mestuffsoplease scampers off]

Mestuffsoplease was in a hurry

He did not have time to waste *

In fact he knows he must act fast *

To protect the illusion t stake *

For he knows all too well

How patience can turn into hate

If promises aren't kept

Or if they happen too late

So he devises a plan

That he thinks is quite great *

And rushes to the computer

In an urge to create *

Cake-pie's must be a thing

Before the end of the day

For when the Chef asks cakes about the goo

He must have cause to celebrate

[...]

Mestuffsoplease creates an image

One he's sure Red Velvet lacks

He makes a poster of his new cake-pie

"New With Jelly!" in red and black *

He posts a few in aisle two *

And a couple more in aisle four *

He's sure the news will bear some fruit *

And will get many more cakes onboard *

[Mestuffsoplease]

They are now part of my jelly horde

For it's trapped inside their belly *

They'll have to love their new image *

Even if they don't like their new jelly *

[Walks Idly around the store]

Mestuffstoplease now walks with ease

And a little self-assured *

He thinks of a clever line to repeat

That he utters throughout the store:*

"Love's in fashion, and jelly's free"

He's not doing it because he's mean

He's doing it because he knows

The effect subconsciously

When cake appetites start to grow