counting anxieties

They speak on repeat to "count your blessings",

but some days I can only seem to

count

the

anxieties.

Pick a day. Any day. Friday? Friday.

I'm leaving the house on Friday. When did I leave the house last?

Tuesday? Sooner than I expected. Or wanted.

Going out on Friday, to meet, to meet, wait,

When is the last time I actually met with an actual human in an actual place, actually?

Don't know. Move on.

I don't usually wear makeup but my face looks awful without makeup I need makeup to hide the scabs but I barely know how to wear makeup.

I can't make this stuff up.

I have to wear makeup and go to a place at a time to meet a person and- wait again, I'll need to shower. Start again.

I have to shower and put on makeup to go to a place at a time to meet a person and then put on a smile and put on a- wait, one more,

I'll be wearing a mask. Shit.

I have to wake up and eat enough breakfast and shower and put on makeup? and put on nice clothes! to be driven to a place at a time to meet a person I have never met before and smile? under my mask and then speak.

Speak. Speak and counter-speak.

And THEN I come home. And THEN I go to work. And THEN I cook dinner.

But hey, if I counted those anxieties too,

you'd be here all day.

And you probably have things you're counting, too.

So feel free to go away.