counterphobic on the inside, phobic everywhere else

you may see me as a

frightened animal in the act of

being chased by fear itself

and you wouldn't be wrong

but you're not fully seeing

where i'm really coming from

because

you don't understand just how

frustrating it is to be so

trusting, distrusting

because

on the inside that's

where i roam with all the possibilities of

"should's"

"could's"

"would've's"

all jumbled to be

devoured, devoid

of who i am in reality

because

everything i do is a perpetual

contradition, addiction

to this way of living divided

but on the inside

i'm

not

like

that

no, on the inside i am the beast

just waiting for the moment

to be

unleashed