Cosmos, in Color

Almost a full moon tonight. For me, the most powerful of her phases. Although not quite full, she reveals herself to me. She is stark white against an indigo backdrop, and the contrast is more vivid than usual.

“I am here”, she proclaims.

“I am here”, I proclaim.

We meet again. Both of us just shy of complete.

I can see Saturn clearly tonight. The brightest yellow, and boldest glow in the sky. Saturn is brave and outgoing, the way I have always wished I could be. In my first thirty years, I mistook rebellion for courage. I tried to be bright yellow and bold. Here, within my second cycle of thirty, I have learned to embrace my rather dull hue. I am not like the others, and I am certainly not like Saturn. I thank the yellow planet in spite of my realization.

“Thank you for the lessons, Saturn. Thank you, even for the limitations”.

I can also see Jupiter, lovely and dressed proudly in purple. Jupiter is my lucky planet, and conjures images of my Irish ancestors. I am reminded of the colorful Claddagh tattooed on my neck. A bright red heart, surrounded by purple hands, and topped with a gold crown. Love, friendship, loyalty. My trinity. My purpose.

“Thank you, Jupiter, for reminding me of my core values, as you always do”.

Tonight, the Cosmos see me in my most raw form. I have not put on heirs; they are not interested in my typical colorful mask. I am naked-faced, and exposed. While they impress me with their vibrant colors, I am grateful to have removed all of mine.

In an instant, the pure white moon turns to orange. Her color is suddenly impacted by the many raging fires that are burning my beautiful state. She now struggles to shine through the smoky haze that is blanketing her. Ah, but she is stronger than the haze, and she is proving it.

I am reminded of something my brother once said,

“It is always good to have orange energy on your side. Orange is creative”.

He is right. My six month struggle with writer’s block turns to fluidity. “Orange is creative”, I hear it again and again. A powerful affirmation, and a welcome relation point between myself and the orange moon.

One last look up at the sky. A beautiful, colorful triad of planets and moon. I am begrudgingly aware that my burst of creative energy will be met with my inherent inability to recover graceful from the insomnia which comes to allow it. Requiem for sleep; I fall victim to the tired day awaiting and wonder to myself,

“What color is numb”?