Colors Tying My Heart Strings

When I was born more than 61 years ago, I was intensely observant,

My Cerulean blue eyes quickly fixated on every movement around me,

Furtively darting from my parents' eyes of blue or green,

Trying to find a happy calm Persian Blue with which to lock eyes,

Settling in and drawing upon the peace and solitude.

As I grew, my eyes gravitated to the colors of the rainbow,

Trying on each color as if I could absorb them all,

Thereby healing the pain and stigma,

Dripping over my head from my parents' tears and mental illness.

Assigned Female at Birth by the doctor who chose to correct my "ambiguous genitalia",

Without so much as a simple asking permission from me,

Raging from this microaggression,

My eyes turned dark,

Sapphire, Lapis, KC Royals Blue, Mexican Blue,

Ultramarine, and eventually Baltic.

I grew and chose wisely the character traits I would epitomize,

Loyalty, Integrity, Reliability, Wisdom, Knowledge.

To grow more solid and stable it became apparent that I would have to come out of the closet, daily and loudly.

To untie my heart strings and reverberate with pure sound,

I would transition from female to male,

Surely after trying hard to feminize myself for 49 years,

I deserved trust, love, resiliency, and confidence,

That was only obtainable by becoming fully male,

That which turned my eyes Indigo Berry.