Chronically ill

Chronically ill

Pain

Rain clouds

Raining clouds, passing by you.

I wish I could blame someone, anyone.

Pain changes you.

You wouldn’t have a clue, unless it happens to you.

It feels like you're dying on the inside, technically I’m dying.

My body is dysfunctional.

One day I’m okay.

Now remember my okay, is not the same as yours.

Having multiple disabilities changes you.

Nothing feels like your typical “normal” day.

The pain becomes too real, and it’s something we can’t heal.

Some days you can’t leave your bed.

And when you do everyone thinks “ you’re getting better, or you are exaggerating your suffering”.

Everyone thinks “you’re back to normal”.

Normal?

What about this is normal?

Being so sick, you can’t do anything anymore.

Bitch, something’s wrong with me, terminally.

I don’t want pain medications.

I’d rather accept it and move on.

There’s a pressure and tightness in my chest.

Maybe I “just need to rest”.

No!

I’m chronically ill, ill never feel my best.

-ej