Chipped Away

To the one who wished to break me,

You chipped away at my sense of self, like a worrier picking skin.

Chewing lips til I taste blood, trying to squeeze myself in.

Make myself small to fit, in the box of your expectations.

The goal, achieved, but I still don't fit, because again you changed the dimensions.

I was your personal pet, project, and you thought, your property.

Chains don't look good on anyone, no matter how shiny.

Such a shame I couldn't remain a dough that could be moulded.

Flexible as I may be, I kept coming unfolded.

As high as you nailed every plank, I kept hopping your fences.

Even with bruises on my thighs, showing the consequences.

A pinch and punch under the table for daring to say the wrong thing.

Eyes around the table divert, as though it was nothing.

No one around opens their mouth to express any discomfort.

It's just his style; she knows this while, choosing to be his consort.

Interference just led to violence, it was probably for the best.

So obviously it's my fault right? The things I don't protest?

It couldn't be that bad they said, with no bruises on your head.

They were all planted with care, on thighs and ribs instead.

He didn't mind if it hurt to breathe, so long as I adorned,

His ego and arm appropriately, and never caused him scorn.

Red flags were waving high to see, but my eyes were stained with blood.

Making them unseen to me as though I peered through mud.

An early clue was dropped by you, when you said you liked my pain face

When deep inside me the first time, what should have been a safe space.

Remember when you accused me, of fucking for a CD?

Remember all the lies you weaved for an excuse just to hurt me?

I remember how you replaced my clothes, a doll for you to style

And dug your nails into my palms while reminding me to smile.

How about you making me strip off all your property?

Before you'd let me leave your house, to ensure I couldn't be free?

Remember, you bought my clothes, so you thought you had me caught.

But that night my patience snapped, and I walked in just shoes and coat.

You snared me at a time in life when my foundations were crumbling.

You saw a vulnerable girl, who's bright future was tumbling.

You offered safety, warmth and love, an alternative to my fate.

It's easy to manipulate, someone with an empty plate.

You thought you had me dead to rights, a soul that you could crush,

And counted down the days when down the aisle we could rush.

Let's not forget the crucial point that I was just sixteen.

That I could be controlled this way was hardly unforeseen.

But it's OK, as we know, I was poorly estimated,

Even with a million puncture holes I couldn't be deflated.

I used those holes to dig and scrape you from under my skin

I sealed up every new hole to stop you getting back in.

Eventually you did resort to threats to terrify me.

Petrol poured through a letterbox to murder my whole family.

But that was when you showed your hand; you'd never risk your freedom

And that was what would set me free, to search for my own Eden.

Coldest regards,

The one who got away.