You paint it all black, I paint it all grey. Emotions bleeding together, don’t know happiness from hate. I don’t have lonely eyes I have a lonely mind. So much love around me, why is it so hard to find? All the support and laughter. You’d think I could finally turn to a new chapter. There’s a difference between being heard and being seen. Whether or not I’m liked or am I too mean? Constantly searching for a nonexistent place. Feeling like I’m already trapped and needing space. It’s never quiet in my head. I’m always contemplating to be alive or to be dead. The static rings in my ears louder than ever. Maybe I’m supposed to be alone forever. Take me out of this house and I’ll only feel weak. I might run and hide, But I know this can’t be hide and seek. I put headphones in my ears, Drown out all the people. I can’t focus on the music, All this noise might prove lethal. My eyes go to tunnel, Barely dazing through this struggle. My brain sets to auto, I clench my throat and forget to swallow. My hands are clammy and start to shake, My knees feel wobbly and begin to quake. Grinding my teeth, I feel no control. I forget who I am, The energy slips from my soul. I look down at this monster. The one who puts me on the bipolar roster. Take me back home, Take me back to my bedroom. Give me my bong, icee, and Hulu password. Maybe I’ll only take five hits to the dome. My voices may quiet and clear some headroom. Why do I always feel like I’m going backward? Alone in the dark I feel like a coward. Messed up in the head, my demons feel empowered. Don’t look in the mirror, OH MY GOD, can I be any clearer!? Don’t you already hate yourself enough today? Don’t you want to stop and just feel okay? I watch the little pieces of me running all around. Growing big, becoming smart, and laughing so profound. THEY are SO beautiful! I must be beautiful? THEY are SO smart! I must be smart? THEY are SO brave! I must be brave? THEY are SO important! I must be important? THEY are SO loved! I must be loved? They are NEVER alone! I must not be too lonely after all?
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Raven Smith
When does life actually start and end?
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Calamar(me)
READ MY STORY A short story by me called "Calamarme" The blaring sound of the mornings alarm rang out as a young mother slowly opens her eyes to see the clock read 6:45. Glancing around the room, and feeling a little queasy, she looks around and sees the curtains are half drawn still from the night before, the morning sun starts peaking through the window from behind the Eastern hills past her property. As the lady stands up, to open the curtains all the way, she sudden feels a horrible, stabbing pain in her abdomen. An uncontrollable screech and groan escaped from her lips as she began grabbing at her stomach and foaming at the mouth. Her young son Ethan, who had been sleeping in the next room, heard the cries of his mother and a loud thud as she hit the floor. Running towards his mother’s bedroom door, Ethan with no hesitation began to turn the doorknob. As he opened the door, he exclaimed, “Mama? MAMA? Are you okay?”. He slowly scanned the room with his little doe eyes and still clutching his tiny hand around the doorknob he heard his mom once again, yell out in pain, as her stomach bursted open and tiny tentacles started slowly squirming their way out of her abdomen. Ethan ran to the opposite side of the room and saw his mother now laying on her back in full convulsions, with blood spewing from her mouth. He stood crying and sobbing as he witnessed his mother dying a gruesome death. As the first initial shock started to wear off, Ethan started screaming and began running outside to find help. Unfortunately for young Ethan, him and his mother had recently moved onto some property she had inherited from her family, quite a ways away from anyone. Poor little Ethan was stranded, to him, in the middle of nowhere, with a dead momma, and 100s of tiny monsters who killed her. �During this same incidence, Ethan’s Uncle Jessie was at an interview for a potential new career. Jessie’s sister Cathy had tried a new restaurant recently, and seeing as how he got to pick the location of the interview, Jessie decided to choose this new “high class” sushi restaurant that Cathy and his nephew Ethan had gone on and on about. While waiting at the restaurant for his guests Jessie noticed how busy and clean this restaurant was; “Surely this will impress them, this place costs a fortune.” Jessie said as he previewed the menu with a hint of disgust on his face. A few tables down an elderly couple sits, seemingly enjoying their meal when suddenly the women lets out a shriek as she stands up and cries out, “Help! He’s unconscious please! Help him!” Waiters, other guests, and Jessie run over to assist the elderly couple; upon approaching the gentleman now hunched over, in a pool of his own vomit and blood, Jessie notices something moving in the man’s lap, thinking it might be his hands signaling for help, Jessie moves the tablecloth out of the way only to see the man’s abdomen is throbbing and starting to bleed. Frantically Jessie yells for everyone to move back and the waiters help lay the old man down on his back, as they started to check the man’s pulse they heard a horrible ripping sound. Jessie unbuttoned the man’s shirt just as his stomach tore open and 100s of walnut sized octopus came flooding from the mans intestines! The crowded restaurant now was full of screaming, panicking customers, some running, some vomitting, some fainting from what they just witnessed. Jessie still standing in shock over the man then notices on the table the man had been eating squid! “What have you done to this man? What have you been feeding these people?” Jessie cried to the waiter. Looking around, Jessie noticed the people who he thought had fainted, also were beginning to rip open with squids! Running towards the front door, panting, confused about what just happened he finally finds where he parked after almost being trampled from the crowd running from the restaurant. After entering his vehicle, he digs his phone from his pocket, still trying to catch his breathe and soaked from the evenings thunderstorm, Jessie dials his wife. No answer. He thought to himself how he should probably phone the police about what just happened, but instead being still conflicted on believing what just really had happened. Was he in shock? Was he dreaming? What the hell was going on? Jessie, still panicked but trying to remain as calm as possible while still fleeing the scene of what could have been a witnessing to the craziest, most horrific event to ever happen to man kind, wipes his face with a small towel he keeps in his center console of the truck. Out loud Jessie sighs, “Hell, you think you’re going to meet up with someone to pitch a business idea, then end up with what could be the TOP STORY of 2021.” Jessie grabbed his phone again, driving one hand on the steering wheel trying to focus through the rain that’s blinding him. Hoping his wife would answer this time, Jessie tried to call his wife again, Sarah was a reporter for a local news station that had been looking for a big break. Jessie thought maybe if he could get his story to his wife he could at least save one of their careers seeing as how he had to miss his interview. Frustrated because his wife isn’t answering her phone for the third time, while tossing his phone into the passenger seat he looked back at the road just in time to swerve out of the way of a fallen branch in the road. Jessie proclaimed out loud, “whew, tonights been one hell of a night, guess I need to pay a bit more attention to the road.” As he pulled up to his house, the rain suddenly calmed down for a brief moment, long enough for him to run inside and and see his TV is on, Sarah is no where to be found, switching to the news, he soon realized that’s because she’s at work. Sure enough, an emergency broadcast comes across the station, stating there had been “multiple cases of an outbreak after consuming anything containing squid or octopus in the last 24 hours.” Apparently all over the state of Oregon, what Jessie had witnessed today at the restaurant had been happening. Jessie’s phone began to ring causing him to jump, as he paced back and forth watching the news thinking to himself how close he was to consuming the squid just a little bit ago, and how surreal it was that he actually just witnessed this event. As he answers his phone, Sarah voice melted through the receiving end like an angel had just kissed all of his worries away. Sarah exclaims, “ Oh jessie! Did you hear the awful news? I am so frightened!” With shock in his voice he tells Sarah about his prior encounter this evening. Sarah both scared and relieved, explains to Jessie that he needs to come to the station immediately. Rushing back to his car, he was so happy it had at least stoped raining. Its about a 15 minute drive to the news station from the house, he quickly parks and runs to the main doors at the small, well aged TV station. Sarah, waiting near the front doors for him and excited to see Jessie has news. Of course its not the kind she wants to be responsible for on live television.�Pulling Jessie into a small room and making sure no one is around, Sarah leans in and begins with, “They’re here Jess” crying and almost insoluble she says “the aliens, they’re here; they’ve been here this whole time Jessie, everyone in the media knows about it. We got a call earlier today, but we can’t report on it because the government is afraid of mass panic. The producers though, they say the only way to get ahead is to leak what isn’t supposed to be said, I’m so scared Jess, I’m scared of these extraterrestrials, I’m afraid of the government, and I’m afraid of my boss. I don’t know what to do!” Jessie looking agitated, grabs Sarah’s hand and says, “We are going to get out of here, I need you to tell me everything you know Sarah, right now! I need to know everything!” He said frantically. Sarah now able to contain herself with tears still in her eyes, looks Jessie in the eyes and says, “ Jessie my love, the Kraken, the myth of the giant squid like creature that has killed so many, she’s the queen, she’s what carried them here. Her colony was soon hunted and fished for, forgotten that squid and octopus originated for the horrible space sea monster. But Jessie, she’s awake, she’s back, there’s been sightings. The government has hidden so many truths about these sightings, silencing any witnesses, but a few of them escaped and told their stories. People have seen her while in ships, or flying overhead. She’s going to get revenge on human kind I just know it!” cried Sarah. “She has awaken from a sleep she was put under. She has broken from the cage that was sunk with Atlantis, at the deepest depth of the abyss. she has torn pieces of herself off and made them into smaller versions of herself, knowning that humans, being as greedy as they are with their foods, and lands, would eventually hunt and feed on them. Not knowing every little piece they feasted on had her eggs inside of it. No one knows how they hatch so quickly or what it is that makes humans the perfect host, but as soon as they attach themselves inside of the human intestines they begin to hatch, tearing out of their infected bodies, and scrambling to find their next host. The government told us this because they knew we would find out eventually, all the media, but they figured if they got ahead of it they could hide it. No one knows how to stop her Jessie!” Jessie with blank expression on his face hesitantly says, “ I can’t believe this is happening, we have to do something. I’m not going to stand here knowing the government knows about this and isnt doing jack shit! This isn’t just food poisoning Sarah! This is the possible annihilation of the entire human race for fucks sake! We have to stop this from happening!!”
By Raven Smith4 years ago in Horror
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