Chasing Wind

As someone who's lost their ability to enjoy, essentially anything...

I don't need to be told twice‐

about how trivial, is the chase of happiness

and how perilous, is the pursuit of pleasure.

From young I knew how pointless such a path would be‐

some might say I was spared from what would come of such a rabbit hole...

I would say that I was taken up and thrown into another,

into a pit, of distress, discontentment, dissatisfaction...

despair, dysfunction, and all the like.

So...

as someone who's lost their ability to enjoy, essentially anything...

I don't want to be told again‐

about a life spent chasing fleeting desires like money or sex...

However...

I cannot be told enough‐

about how ruinous it is to run after numbness

or how devastating redrawing my most dangerous wishes truly is.

Every day this pursuit of peace is proven to be peace‐less,

and every night spent clinging to hope seems itself hopeless.

How many more times will I be told I must die to myself?

What would whomever say if they knew just how far from life I really was?

There's nothing else I can, "die to"

at least not metaphorically that is...

Have I not already given up everything?...

and what wasn't sacrificed, was taken from me,

now it is only nothing that I hold on to-

there's nothing I'm chasing,

I am merely waiting for the clock to strike zero...

wishing that the hands of time were my own

that I may skip beyond this side of existence,

and on to the other—

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Thank You For Reading!!

Here are some other very similar stories of mine! :)