Cautionary Tale in a Guitar Strap

congrats on turning my type into a red flag

i see you now and can’t believe i ever bragged

about knowing you, about loving you —

about thinking your sad boy act was cute

your band still sounds like seven playlists

fighting for their lives in the same song

loud enough to wake the neighbors

but never enough to wake you up

you’ve got that post-breakup “found myself” look

which is funny, ‘cause you lost the plot

and started dressing like you live in your car

(hair greasy enough to fry the set list)

i used to think you were dangerous in the best way

now you’re just… a cautionary tale in thrift store leather

and i’m the girl who learned her lesson

without needing to hear another note

so congrats, darling — really, hats off

you didn’t just waste my time

you singlehandedly ruined a whole genre

but at least you gave me this poem