Carelessness from the Deep.

I realize I love too much. It is easy for me to love. I never let myself fall in love. That could never happen. I try to open and I try to change but it's like an abandoned safe left underwater in the deep. Unless it's taken out of the ocean, it can't be opened. There's too much pressure built up. But I don't mind. I enjoy loving people, caring for them, understanding them, being there for them. Maybe that means it always leaves me open to get hurt but it can't be worse than opening too far and it hurting for real. I don't want that scar to stay forever.

It made me realize too, that I ignore that outside of my body Of the harbor of my soul. I am careless with the petty marks that stain my skin forever purely because I refuse to push the needle deep enough for it to mark my soul. To stay with me into the afterlife, haunting me of someone I used to know. Childish? Selfish? It's intrinsic at this point. Maybe I'll never love deep enough as I once thought I would be able to, but it's not without knowing I'd have tried my hardest.