Bumping Into the Divine

To some things, I know,

I have rendered disservice

in an attempt to explain.

My words would try

to fill a void

only to evaporate.

All there is and all

that ever will be

are swallowed whole

into the thin air's

quiet mystery.

And I used to pray

to Chance

that the wheel

would turn just so

only to find

that I am the wheel,

the fortune,

the player,

the showman and the show.

No thing have I ever lost.

No thing have I ever gained.

I have only ever swallowed whole

what I had tried so hard to explain.