it has become increasingly impossible
to bear this life every single day
I hear these things and I give up
on the entire mankind in this state
they will never admit they said it
their lips remain silent after being caught red-handed
but I know there’s a reason for it
it was about getting rid of me, letting me feel
unfit for anything
but kindness, so I heard
that I’m a boy now and I stumbled
by people more skilled than me
those who are at the beginning of their journey
the ones never broken
those who spend money on trivial things
and make me listen to the side effects
what they drank, who they fucked, how many children they have
switching partners each time
and not knowing the after-effects
of this game of luck and hate
when they stand, my hair stands on end
intimidation flows in a wide stream
of their knowledge and my abandonment
as if I were inexistent
it’s happened before, you know
you’re not the first invisible fist to strike
now I’m forced to hide my pain
under the pillow during the longest sleep
I dream of freedom wrapped in all these quirks
they dream about their dream team to finally breathe
as if I had been told from the start:
“you don’t stand a chance
you will be broken by the people who made you
they won’t kill you, they’ll let you suffer
and suffer, and suffer, and suffer more
they will never get enough; their lips will be silent forever”
taking that little spark of life away from me
I’d have it if they hadn’t been like this all my life
***
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About the Creator
Moon Desert
UK-based
BA in Cultural Studies
Crime Fiction: Love
Poetry: Friend
Psychology: Salvation
Where the wild roses grow full of words...
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Comments (1)
Like this? No, it goes deeper than that. The evanescence (one of my favorite words), invisibility, of being discounted, dismissed, rejected, overlooked, beaten down whenever you dare to rise up, made to feel as though you don't exist, as though you never did from the very beginning, so reminiscent of the story, "A Child Called It". Like it? No. Moved to tears by it? Resonate with it? Feel it weighing heavy upon my heart? Yes, yes & yes. This poem is more than just a poem & certainly more than something merely to like. It invokes within us a call to compassion, for mercy, grace & love that reaches down deep, unafraid to get dirty, to embrace & heal & walk with those who have been broken through & beyond the moment when together we are able to breathe free & see the light of day.