Brightening, Illumination

My primaries were once intact and unbudging

I used to be so, red-- so bold and bright, and burning with courage and dignity and pride

And inside my gut glowed a constant gleaming yellow-- strong and unwavering warmth

Blue magnetism like lighting projecting from the depths of my eyes

And I was unstoppable

And these primaries mixed themselves and with the black and white world to form glorious spectrums of secondary and tertiary synesthetic color and sound and feel

You could taste my loving orange, hear my powerful thundering indigo

And feel all of these colors just dripping from me in so many manifestations

Tinting the atmosphere with auras that emanated from me and stretched across space and time-- filling both with music and sensation and emotion, wavelengths of various frequencies and sizes and fast and slow and sometimes it was jarring or messy but it was all me

A life lived is one where colors may fade,

Entropic and cyclical, sometimes a color or two will become nearly traceless, and thus, the colors that are made from those colors

But to have your colors taken from you is another thing entirely.

It didn’t happen all at once-- one day, he took my red, and another time she took my yellow, and soon after they took all my deep and precious blue, (and it took the pink I made) and it was just take and take and take until ultimately I was just a smoky, thin, crystalline, and weakling haze.

Desolate is a soul stuck in the ether

A deep ultraviolet galactic atmosphere unseen but noxious

Completely ravaged

To live enveloped in dark space

Rotting moldy blue-black

I couldn’t make color but it was felt deeply

Searing green terror

Decaying yellowed shame and burnt orange revulsion

And I saw red-- only the lowest vibrations

See, he and she and they and it took all my color, and left my stomach empty and eyes drained and everything was gone-- no life force to grow or thrive, just a carcass, an empty vessel left, rotting and stinking

But to become dislodged

But for that glowing silver moment, that space where wavelengths synch

Where the sun catches my prismic vessel and there is again color

Where the larynx expands to the perfect distance and fingers make their way to that precise position on the string and smooth rich chocolate brown emanates in slow swelling surges, warming hearts like cocoa on a frigid night

A golden light bulb overhead, finally, spontaneously flickers to illumination, gleaming so brightly yellow, flooding my body with electricity and gracing everything with light

The warm but slightly clammy hand reaches out for mine and vibrant orange desire , spills from my chest and seeps into the matter of everything, iridescent and coating the surfaces of the space like a glaze

A silver lining in the crystalline mist of my ether, all of the colors had been there, silent, hibernating, waiting for the brilliance of the sun to generate frequencies again, wavelengths

And red is the fierceness that I’d lost

And purple was the sound of my voice, strong and sturdy to speak truth, cool and blue

And to feel my heart beat green bounding energy

And have an aching yellow touch my mind with new light

And the orange bubbling giggles that prickling fingers extricate from my golden gut

All building a quiet vibration with the precision of a laser beam blinging more brightly than before

Once again mixing, creating, brightening

Illumination, resilience