bottomless

i woke up this morning searching for you

reaching across an expanse of sheets

towards your outline that i learned too quickly was an illusion

i’ve been spending the past four months sedated

medicated to carry me to dreamless sleep

night in shining armour

and when i thought i was ready i didn’t renew the prescription

closing my eyes and hoping for the best

there you were on the threshold, holding my bleeding heart

an ache in my chest where i had been soothing it

i’m learning that my caring for you is a gift

a testament to my capacity for love

unconditional

a valley that swallows me whole

you could return breathing to my door

and i would let you in without question

maybe it was best that i let you leave first

i didn’t

don’t

want to climb out of here