Borrowed Backbone

I didn’t grow a backbone overnight.

I borrowed it, honestly,

like a jacket someone hands you

when they notice you’re shivering

but pretending you’re not.

﹁﹂

It was my friend who kept calling,

even when I stopped answering,

leaving voicemails that said nothing important

just, “Hey. I’m here. Eat something.”

﹁﹂

It was my sister showing up

with groceries and that tough-love face,

stacking cans in my cupboard

like she was building a wall

between me and my worst thoughts.

﹁﹂

It was the coworker who slid me a note

with a stupid doodle of a stick figure

standing tall, chest out

and I laughed,

And the laugh made room.

﹁﹂

I used to think needing people

meant I was weak.

Now I know it’s the opposite:

It takes guts to be seen

When you feel like a mess.

﹁﹂

Their staying became a structure.

A temporary spine.

And one day, without fireworks,

I stood up for myself

said no, said enough,

said I’m not doing that anymore

And my voice didn’t crack.

Or it did, a little,

But it held.

﹁﹂

If courage is a bone,

Then love is the calcium

quiet, steady,

building me back

from the inside.