Beyond the Zodiac

I tell myself our relationship failed because our signs were incompatible

That it was because there was no possible way for your Sagittarius to get along with my Cancer

That your fixation with money and perfection is what led to the downfall of us

That it was because of your lack of emotional intelligence is what resulted in this outcome

Or how our fourth and eighth houses weren't aligned

All of the misunderstandings and miscommunication were destined to happen

Something out of our control

At least, that's what I told myself

It was easier for me to believe- to blame

Instead of coming to terms with the real reason of why it all burned and blew away

Not admitting that this could possibly be something beyond the zodiac

Realizing my earlier enthusiasm of being with someone

Was only a cheap way to fill the lonely pit inside

Which, realistically, was only something I could fill

Desperately, clinging onto you

Stringing you along all those years

Out of comfort and my own inability to be alone

All while you crumpled my spirit

Forcing me into a box I was too big to fit

Overtime, clearing my rose-colored perception of you

Seeing the raw, unhealed you as well

Thoughts of us being together long term abhorrent

Turning my stomach in knots at the mention of it

My warmth for you becoming a distant memory

Finally, accepting when I promised to love you forever

I really meant just for now