Between Candle and Smoke
A Sonnet on Memory and Loss
I hold your absence like a struck match glow,
Bright at the edges where my fingers burn,
While darkness pools in places I can't know,
The rooms you've left, the paths of no return.
Each memory flares, your laughter, sudden gold,
Then smoke that curls away before I breathe.
I build you up with light, but can't take hold
Of shadows that through every story weave.
Perhaps this is the bargain love demands
To carry both the candle and its death,
To dream you whole while knowing empty hands,
To speak your name and lose it in my breath.
Thus, must I bear this dusk that will not stay,
An ache of light, a comfort in decay.
About the Creator
Tim Carmichael
Tim is an Appalachian poet and cookbook author. He writes about rural life, family, and the places he grew up around. His poetry and essays have appeared in Bloodroot and Coal Dust, his latest book.
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Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Comments (17)
love the clincher line- perhaps this is the bargain love demands-- congratulations on top story
Loved it!! It's beautiful
"Perhaps this is the bargain love demands To carry both the candle and its death" I love this part, Tim. Congratulations on your top story!
Rich imagery! Love this. Having many losses, this one struck home. Congrats on the TS! 💜
"...your laughter, sudden gold..." Beautiful; really expresses the inexpressible. Congrats on well-earned TS!
really beautiful and very interesting rhythmic choices that made it exciting to read: "I build you up with light, but can't take hold Of shadows that through every story weave." is a fine example of what i mean. very well done and congratulations on a well deserved top story
Candle light flickers so bright until death then lights up again.
This is amazing, wonderful work!
"to speak your name and lose it in my breath" My eyes welled up and I felt it deeply...such a line of loss and beauty...congrat, Tim. amazing poem
There’s such haunting beauty in the space between a candle’s flame and the smoke it births — the tension, the ambiguity, the quiet transformation. This poem captures that in a way that feels sacred. I found myself drawn to how light and shadow dance here, not in opposition, but in delicate conversation. It’s a reminder that our own edges — between what we reveal and what we hide — carry more than we sometimes allow. This kind of writing stays with me long after the words settle.
The metaphor of holding absence like a struck match perfectly captures the beauty and pain of remembering someone gone.
Magnificent work, Tim! 🫶🏾💪🏾🎉
To love is to lose, but it is worth it, for the bottomless depth of feeling. A beautifully touching piece.
Well, that was a damn good one. I think this one has to place, unless you’re fighting against one of your own
Wonderfully written I feel the lose and the deep sorrow one drowns in His line is a beautiful way of saying it ‘Thus, must I bear this dusk that will not stay,’
This is stunning work. You’ve got this down perfect - the syllable count, the rhyme scheme, the iambic pentameter is flawless.
Well-wrought! An excellent exploration of both the poetic form and the chosen metaphor!