Beneath the Surface - Tar-Coated Sugary Neveragains?
Experimental, surreal, but introspective, self-reflective poem
how's the dash goingIt made her sick
cover our wounds in bandages to her stomach,
made from sugar-coated promises of neveragainsAs the blood sprayed from the open wound
how are you doing? the more she dwelled
cover our sins in cloaks
made from salt-burnt denials under gaslightcreating patterns on their white, leather sofa, the hardwood flooring and the ornate lamp that stood next to the sofa
as cliched as it ison his deception, manipulation
coat the rot in saran wrappingmotionless. In shock or euphoriaglorified? or demonised?
made from the sweetest spun-sugaron her back and whispered "what was once asleep, now must awaken."
the start is sethis full-blown lack of sincerity.
coat the neglect in lubricant bleeding profusely from a small, but deep wound in his abdomen
made from silky smooth almond oil, diluted with acridity spitting in disgust and fear
your end is set
lie in the softest sheets
made from the sinew and minnow, the blood and the offalout of her control
but the between
well...
lie in the swaddling
made from expensive yarn and cotton, of ruses and sleight of hand
...that's the good stuff
Was the last 10 years of their life together a total lie?
how's the dash goingtried in vain as she did to apply pressure
how are you doing?A black shadow, tendrils and a mouth with a thousand teeth as sharp as cleavers that were the gateway to a never-ending chasm.
focused. Focused. Are we...
ever? Am I?
...
as cliched as it ison the wound,
the start is set
your end is setrealising almost immediately
but the between"Paulus, ouch hoer ich sagen, das sippe blut von wazzere niht verdirbet"
wellthat the blood loss was worse than she initially thought
that's the good stuffhis now empty shell of a skeleton was fully exposed.
made from the vestiges of an empire built on tar andsurfaced...distrust.
the flatline proceeds(orprecedes?) the truth revealed.(precedes, please, precedessomethingelse)
*
Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: Poem. Had a lot of "fun" putting this together.
I should have added really that the expression "How's the dash going?" was inspired by the person who did my uncle's funeral a couple of months ago. He noted that on all the funerals he has overseen there is a start date and an end date for the deceased, but the important part is the dash between those two dates.
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Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
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Comments (11)
another wonderful Paul puzzle poem that has so many parts to revisit and meander through! Very dynamic piece!
Wow that was a wild ride great job Paul
I love the dash comment in reference to life and death.las for the poem-- i enjoyed the physical liasons between the broken lovers thoughts
Now this is my kinda fun hehehehehe. I loved it so much 🍩🥐
The disjointed joining of these two both show visually and textually the fractured relationship. I mean, as an experiment it's pretty effective. I read it a couple of times too, to get a greater sense of it and read the two things separately to hear the individual voices but the overlap is what makes the poem. Nicely done. You are the emperor of experimentation!
I ended up reading the italicized poem first and then returning to read it in its entirety to better follow the perspective of both characters in the poem. This is one of your most visceral poems, which is saying something, given the visceral writing is pretty much your wheelhouse. The pic reinforces that to the extreme. The imagery is powerful and the line - what was once asleep, now must awaken, is literally the poem's wakeup call for the male character although it seems like it came too late. It is also wonderful writing. I liked this a lot, Paulus! Sehr gut!
That was wild. Two poems in one. Definitely surreal. Well done, buddy.
Your poem definitely excelled in the surreal realm. I had to read it a few times just to get the final impact. Well done.
Just wow Paul. WOW. Loved this.
Lol "fun" as in FUN!!!!! or "fun" as in fun....... 😅 Great work though, my favourite line was "what was once asleep, now must awaken." Nicely, done Paul!!
This is quite different and yet kind of fun to read.