Becoming my own Hero

Sitting in the car wondering what is it that I do in order to get to where I am now

I am so happy with myself but who knew being happy with yourself

Would cause in so much distraction with others in relationships

to focus on yourself to want to be better version of yourself

I’m only 20 years old and people tell me that that’s so young and I feel it I feel that

I am wise beyond many years

I’m literally sitting in the car while this coronavirus of ours goes on

and wondering not even wondering but just excited for what’s gonna happen next excited to see what can I learn about myself and about the people that I have associated with

most people would feel hurt knowing that their family hasn’t called or text but sometimes things happen for a reason and I can’t dwell in the past

I have to go forward and look at what it is that I can do now to expedite my time and to get to where I need to be

I realize that I cannot control other people but I can control myself

and controlling myself II have decided to not be around negativity

but then I realize that if sometimes is negativity needed to rely on patience

but I know that everything that I do is already planned in the future

so even with the situation I’m in now I just wonder what is it that I need to learn from this

is it time for me to start writing explaining my story understanding more about myself and what I can handle

or is it about being humble and realizing that I can’t control everything

but I noticed as I get deeper into my spirituality and start understanding people in the way the mind works and understanding the triggers contrast and attraction

it seems like my energy is ascending to higher heights

I need to explore more about myself and not be around chatters of the outside world

I sit here in this car listening to YouTube videos from Abraham Hicks ,Alan Watts

thinking about going and watching the office

getting my mind back to be fun and playful and to not worry about anything

I’m grateful for the fact that I am able to place it in my car and I’m able to say that I have money in my wallet not saying that it’s a $10,000 but it’s something and that’s all that I need

sometimes I feel like talking out loud is convincing myself but everything always works out for me even when it doesn’t seem like it is

old me wants to bust out crying screaming about being betrayed being treated like I’m nothing

but it just shows me how much I am something how much my presence intimidates people how much people are scared of what I can become

there’s no more being timid

no more being insecure

no more allowing people to push over me

this is my time now

to find myself and to be the best person I can even though I’m still trying to figure it out as I go along

I know that everything is happening for a reason still trying to figure out the whole bathroom process but I know it’s not the end of the world and even with this quarantine I can stay quarantined in my car and everything will just be OK

so I write this now

I get this off my chest

allow myself to feel happy

even in the midst

something I didn’t plan

and I’m proud of myself

I’m proud of myself to be able to be strong

to be able to get past this

and to look forward even when things are looking yucky

so this is going to be my first chapter off and I don’t even want to say it

let’s just say of my journey of being by myself

I don’t know but yeah thanks for reading