Bad news bear

If there's a train to get,

I'll likely miss it.

If there's a dog to pet,

I'll pro'ly be bit!

Yeah, I'm one o' those guys

who always gets conned.

If there's a bird in the sky,

I'll likely be shit on.

I'm a bad news bear.

If there's a newfound disease,

I'd no doubt catch it.

If there's someone with a wheeze,

I'll most likely get sick!

Yeah, if I rolled two dice,

the score would be one.

I'd love some good luck—

if I could bloody well find some!

I'm a bad news bear.