I fake this smile.
It's not because I pretend to like you - It's because I pretend to like myself.
Taking cheap shots, as I am not worthy for a taste of the winners top-self.
I am on the edge, waiting to fall, but willing to take the dive.
Already at rock bottom - I don't care if I survive.
I see my worth in their eyes, they tell me what I already know;
Life will be far less tiresome for everyone, once I decide to let go.
I've performed this pain-filled smile for long enough and the agony I can no longer endure.
Trust me when I say, there will be no encore.
I care not if they throw roses or berate me with thorns,
What I want is freedom from their sadistic terms.
I turn and bestow one last smile upon the crowd;
Designed to dazzle them one last time, before I go underground.
The smoke clears and they realise that I am completely gone.
Perhaps now, they will see the devastation in slowly dying alone.
About the Creator
Jollyoddbod Poetry
Here I am, and here I'll stay;
Like the moon in the darkness that refuses to fade.
Clouds will cover, but cannot take from my reign;
Mark this as the moment that they realise, as they scoff with distain.
They fell asleep, I cannot be blamed.
Keep reading
More stories from Jollyoddbod Poetry and writers in Poets and other communities.
Comments (2)
Wow, this is very heartbreaking and deeply sad. Written poem. Your emotions come out quite a bit. 
Oh gosh, this was so poignant, intense and heartbreaking. Loved your poem! Hope you're okay.