B.L.U.E. — Print

Bewildered have I been on too many occasions, my fingers are numb from repeating the sequence.

1 through 10, the list of reasons I had to dislike myself as a Black child in America were, endless.

1 through 10, jokes, about the color of my skin that made me question its luminescence.

1 through 10, the amount of times I was, articulate, for a Black boy.

1 through 10 the amount of times I’ve almost spewed red hot fury all over.

1 through 10, the amount of times I’ve restrained myself, to live to fight another day.

1 through 10, the number of years tears were held back because, precipitation is water that falls from the sky but not from my eyes I, must be stronger than that. But why?

Bewildered, befuddled, befitted to be the butt of the joke time and time again but I am not laughing, it was never funny to me.

Bewildered am I no more though, now I laugh, at those crevices of my mind that ran me off whenever I dared peak my head in the room. Rooms now illuminated by the light. My, light.

We grow up eating hearty helpings of manners and words in the form of scoldings, lessons and lectures. With sides of backhands and punishments. And we’re expected to wash it down with tall glasses of, that’s the way it is, and someday you’ll understands. Always are we to remove ourselves from the table once we are done eating, but never are we given our dessert. The taste of sweetness in the form of freedom. Freedom to feel, express, Be. Freedom to choose for ourselves. Freedom, in its simplest form.

A bird takes flight in my mind, basking in mine own light on its journey. Starving, it searches for sustenance, solace in like minds, natures, and universes. Fueled by the light that guides it, assured it will come to know the sweet taste of dessert. It travels, quickly, being swallowed by the unending, it fades to Blue. A shade as multifaceted as the pride of the underdog, they will always persevere.

Blessed are they each with the strength of an army and a legion of angels.

Loved, by themself, is the goal they seek.

Unwavering are they always in their pursuit of the sweets. The journey is tumultuous, the reward is delicious; they stick with it.

Encompassing are their experiences, feelings and emotions, desires and needs, thoughts, ideas, and opinions. Their joy, and their pain.

Everything is their physical being and the future embodiment of that being.

This is for you.