Avoiding Anger

Step one

can either be

the hardest or easiest

step to get through.

*

Notice your anger early.

Look for the signs.

Don’t wait until

you’re already snapping;

pay attention to the

tension in your shoulders,

the tightness in your chest,

and the clenching of your fists,

and the moment you stop replying

to the person that caused the anger.

*

I lied before.

Step two

might be just as

difficult if not easy.

*

Step away for a bit.

Literally.

Walk to another room.

Go outside.

Say you need a minute.

You don’t need permission.

*

What makes this difficult?

Someone who doesn’t

understand boundaries and

follows you out to make it worse,

not better.

*

Next comes

slowing down.

Sit.

Breathe.

Relax.

Give your body

a chance to stop acting

like something terrible is

happening.

*

And don’t worry;

it’ll pass eventually.

*

Then follows

admitting you’re angry,

even if the reason behind it

is very, very stupid or childish.

Are you hurt?

Embarrassed?

Scared?

Having a PTSD like response?

You don’t need to stop it,

or fix what happened.

You just need to admit

that you’re angry because of it.

*

And you don’t have to respond

to your anger right away.

It’s not a test of your character.

Nothing bad will happen if you

take ten minutes or ten hours,

or even a few days to collect yourself.

Silence can be a form of care;

mental recollection,

for example.

*

Up next,

stop replaying

could’ve-beens in

your head; you didn’t say it,

the moment passed, stop dwelling.

You’ll get angrier, you’ll keep thinking

about the situation; don’t.

Write it in a notebook, then

walk towards relaxation;

come back to the notebook

when the feeling is gone and

you can think straight again.

*

If you messed up,

say so plainly.

No speeches that

avoid getting to the

point or half-assed

explanations.

Short and simple

is better than overcompensating

for nothing.

It’s more rememberable

that way.

*

You’re allowed to be angry.

Don’t punish yourself.

Don’t let others punish you,

unless you did or do something insane

because of the anger; so, don’t act it out,

avoid doing something dumb.

It’ll be very hard, so decompress

however you can.

*

And don’t get mad

at yourself if you fail

the steps; you won’t get

it right every time.

It doesn’t mean these

steps won’t work eventually;

to err is human,

and being human

is learning when to

step away for a little while.