At the End of the Universe

Telling myself everyday that it is going to get better is not working

I wish just one day for it all to be gone

the depression

the anxiety

the hatred toward myself

all I'm asking is for one full day

a full 24 hours of freedom,

from myself

I know that in the future

I will get “better”

I will suck it up

I will ask for help

(from someone who thinks they know what is wrong with my head)

but not right now.

right now, I don't want to be even more depressed by going to a therapist everyday

having then tell me how “sad” really I am

when I've known since I was 12

I just want to figure it out on my own

the pain will kill me, but it won’t

I know that now

I wish I could tell my younger self to put it down.