Argan Oil Embargo Threatens Global Stability

The tiny nation of Morocco in a bold move many think is an effort to prove it has arrived as a global player on the world stage has declared an oil embargo against several European powers it accuses of seeking to destabilize it by investing heavily in jojoba oil futures. Morroccon argan oil minister Yusaf Ahmed had this to say in an afternoon press conference announcing the new policy “Europeans can no longer treat Morroco as a second class nation as they have for many decades now. Our vast reserves of argan oil have given us power and influence at least equal to that of Luxemborg and possibly exceeding even the mighty Lithuania. This embargo proves we can be ignored no longer. We laugh at your attempts to manipulate the global hair and skin oils market by investing in jojoba oil futures. Not only is jojoba oil inferior in every performance category important to health and beauty conscious consumers, it is widely known to leave a sticky film behind unlike argan oil which leaves the hair smooth and shiny with zero residual oily feel.” European economic spokesmen Tad Stevens had this to say in response, “We respect Morocco and do recognize they have grown in stature these past few years as argan oil use has spread throughout all sectors of the beauty and personal care industry. However, despite their bold proclamations we disagree that it is superior to jojoba or any other hair or skin care oil, except for almond oil, that stuff is greasy and way too thick.”