Another Light

I do not feel free.

I barely feel me

In this lump of flesh

Meat and bone

Jail cell of disease.

I do not feel safe

No place feels like my space

My brain creates wars

Phantom threats

Judging faces.

I do not feel mine

To own myself is a crime

My body is a rental

For ghosts

Out of their own time.

I do not feel whole

I am detritus and mold

Food for the worms

For the pigs

And men who own my soul.

I do not feel alive

I live within a lie

Of promises

Of peace

With no winning prize.

I do not feel at ease

There's spiders in my dreams

Disembodied hands

Holding strings

Attached to me.

I do not fear the dark

Or the strumming of my heart

Proof of living

Yet only just

Stitches rip, halves apart.

I do not fear the dawn

The sunrise, the bird's song

Paintings in the sky

Reddish pink

Blood droplets in a pond.

I do fear the night

My demons dance in moonlight.

A new battle

Wages in the dark

I'm never promised another light.